Alan Dershowitz, A Schmuck – Wonkette

There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee’s playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

More to the point, what the hell is he even saying here?

O RLY? Alan Dershowitz is joining the fight against pre-trial detention? Did the bronzed braintrust know they were inviting a Social Justice Warrior to join them on the leather couch? No wonder they made him call in from a fish bowl!

Yes, it is to America’s everlasting shame that we have over half a million people locked up without any determination of guilt.

Graphic via Prison Policy Initiative

We set bail without regard for a defendant’s ability to pay, and we spend hundreds of millions of dollars jailing people who pose no danger at all to their communities. And if you live in Maryland Districts 11 or 23B, your chance to get rid of Delegates Bobby Zirkin and Joseph Vallario — the second- and third-highest recipients of bail bondsmen’s campaign contributions in the entire country — is coming on June 26. Why does little Maryland receive almost as much in bail bond campaign cash as California or Florida? DUNNO! We should get Dersh on that ASAP!

But we digress! Because Alan Dershowitz is only invoking those unjustly incarcerated brown dudes to pretend that poor Paul Manafort has been thrown in jail based solely on the indictment. And Alan Dershowitz knows that’s total horseshit.

Last week, Paul Manafort was a free man — albeit one who had turned millions of dollars in assets over to the federal courts and was sporting a set of matching ankle bracelets. Do poor brown dudes get to spend the night in their own beds when they are indicted for all the crimes? NO, THEY DO NOT. So it is stunning chutzpah for Dershowitz to pretend that poor Paul Manafort was railroaded by an unjust legal system. The guy had every advantage of race and class. All he had to do was quit criming for a hot second. And he couldn’t even do that!

Paul Manafort is in jail because he was a goddamn idiot who allegedly sent WhatsApp messages coaching witnesses in his own trial, and saved the messages to his own iCloud. That’s “bless our hearts and other parts”-level stupid.

And we expect this illiterate dipshit to pretend that Manafort was “sentenced.”

But not a guy who taught at Harvard Law School for fifty years! Judge Berman Jackson had “probable cause to believe that [Manafort] has committed a Federal, State, or local crime while on release” — i.e. obstruction of justice and false statements to the FBI — and that’s why he’s going to jail. Which Alan Dershowitz knows goddamn well. So he needs to close up his laptop and knock off that live webcam porn show he puts on in his attic for the drooling morons at Fox.

Seriously, Zaydie! This is a shandah, and it’s fucking beneath you!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

You liking these lawsplainers? Please click here to fund ’em!

Follow this link:

Alan Dershowitz, A Schmuck – Wonkette

Related Post

June 21, 2018  Tags:   Posted in: Alan Dershowitz |

Fair Use Disclaimer

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

Under the 'fair use' rule of copyright law, an author may make limited use of another author's work without asking permission. Fair use is based on the belief that the public is entitled to freely use portions of copyrighted materials for purposes of commentary and criticism. The fair use privilege is perhaps the most significant limitation on a copyright owner's exclusive rights.

Fair use as described at 17 U.S.C. Section 107:

"Notwithstanding the provisions of section 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phono-records or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright.

In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include:

  • (1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for or nonprofit educational purposes,
  • (2) the nature of the copyrighted work,
  • (3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole, and
  • (4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work."